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Lebanon Candle Company

Smells Like Mortgage Payments & Repair Bills Funny Candle

In stock

Scent
Regular price $19.99 USD
Sale price $19.99 USD Regular price
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Description

  • THE REALITY OF HOMEOWNERSHIP: Forget the "Home Sweet Home" clichés. This candle tells the truth about the joys of property taxes and leaky faucets. It’s a guaranteed laugh for housewarming parties or a "congrats on the debt" gift for a best friend.

  • 100 HOURS OF FINANCIAL DISTRACTION: You might be stressed about the interest rate, but at least your house will smell like a luxury retreat. Our massive 16.5oz mason jar candles offer an 80–100 hour burn time, lasting through every DIY project and call to the plumber.

  • FARM-POURED IN MISSOURI: Hand-poured on our family farm in Lebanon, Missouri, using 100% natural soy wax. It offers a clean, non-toxic burn that clears the air of "old house" dust and replaces it with premium fragrance.

  • SCENTS FOR THE HOUSE-PROUD: From the "Clean Slate" vibes of Fresh Linen to the sophisticated, "Elite Tier" notes of Sandalwood & Suede, our high-fragrance oils make every room feel like a high-end investment.

  • USA MADE & REUSABLE: Our heavy-duty glass jars are built to last longer than your home warranty. Once you’ve burned through 100 hours of peak homeowner humor, clean out the jar and reuse it for storing loose change for the repair fund.


 The "Financial Freedom" Scent Menu

  • Sandalwood & Suede (The Penthouse Vibes): A rich, sophisticated blend of dark chocolate, cedar, and velvet musk. It smells expensive, grounding, and like a person who actually understands their escrow statement.

  • Fresh Linen (The "Laundry Day" Peace): A crisp, clean scent with a powder and musk blend. It smells like fresh sheets and a house where everything is (temporarily) working perfectly.

  • Sun Washed Citrus (The Bright Future): Zesty lemon and agave create a crisp, energizing atmosphere. The perfect "pick-me-up" for a Saturday morning spent staring at a renovation budget.

  • Black Raspberry Vanilla (The Sweet Reward): Our #1 bestseller. A luscious mix of ripe berries and creamy vanilla. A sweet treat for the homeowner who just survived their first month of mortgage payments.

  • Apples & Bourbon (The Happy Hour): Warm orchard apples and smooth bourbon. A strong, inviting fragrance for toasting to the fact that you finally have your own kitchen to drink in.

  • Butt Naked (The Vacation Fund): A fun, fruity explosion of melon, pear, and strawberry. Because you’re going to need a mental vacation now that all your money is going to the roof.

  • Fresh Cut Roses (Luxury Living): A true, deep rose fragrance. Nothing says "I’m a successful adult" like a house that smells like a fresh bouquet for 100 hours straight.

  • Artisan Approved
  • Handcrafted Quality
  • Verified Maker
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Handcrafted Quality

Made in small batches with care, attention, and a commitment to genuine craftsmanship.

Thoughtfully Sourced

Created using responsibly chosen materials that reflect the maker’s dedication to purity and integrity.


Artisan Made

Each piece is shaped by independent creators, bringing unique character and authenticity to every item.

Made to Enjoy

Designed to elevate everyday moments with simple, natural, and beautifully crafted essentials.

Smells Like Mortgage Payments & Repair Bills Funny Candle

$19.99 USD

Crafted with intention

Made by real artisans.

Every piece begins with thoughtful design and careful hands. From natural materials to small‑batch production, each product reflects the maker’s skill, creativity, and dedication to quality. Created to bring simple, meaningful enjoyment to your everyday life.


Smells Like Mortgage Payments & Repair Bills Funny Candle

Why shop with us?

You're in good hands.

  • Over

    150

    artisans featured

  • With

    95%

    positive reviews

  • and

    1000s

    goods created

  • Beautiful craftsmanship

    The candle I received looks and smells like it was made with real care. The hand‑poured finish and layered scent are incredible.


    Emily Carter
    Asheville, North Carolina
  • Amazing handmade soap

    You can feel the difference instantly. The texture is rich, the scent is natural, and it’s clearly crafted in small batches.


    Marcus Reed
    Madison, Wisconsin
  • Love supporting real makers

    I ordered a body butter from an independent artisan and it blew me away. Small‑batch quality you just can’t find in stores.


    Sophie Lane
    Santa Fe, New Mexico
  • Premium quality

    The bath goods exceeded my expectations. Clean ingredients, beautiful packaging, and a truly luxurious handmade feel.


    Daniel Brooks
    Bend, Oregon
  • Consistently excellent

    Every order feels thoughtfully crafted. The products arrive exactly as described and always feel freshly made.


    Hannah Price
    Richmond, Virginia
  • A joy to shop

    The site is easy to browse, and I love discovering new makers. Everything feels curated, intentional, and genuinely handmade.


    Noah Bennett
    Charleston, South Carolina
  • Unique scents

    The candle blends are unreal, soft, layered, and clearly crafted by someone who knows their craft.


    Olivia James
    Boulder, Colorado
  • Handmade perfection

    The soap set I bought is now part of my daily routine. Beautifully made, gentle on the skin, and smells incredible.


    Ethan Ward
    Boise, Idaho
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