THE ULTIMATE SARCASTIC ROMANCE: For the person who hates "mushy" gifts, this candle says it all without being too cheesy. It’s the perfect way to tell your partner they’re the only one you can tolerate—and maybe even like—all in one hilarious label.
100 HOURS OF (ALMOST) FEELINGS: Your commitment to this candle is real. Our massive 16.5oz mason jar candles offer an 80–100 hour burn time, lasting through countless date nights and Netflix marathons.
FARM-POURED WITH LOVE (SORTS OF): Hand-poured on our family farm in Lebanon, Missouri, using 100% natural soy wax. It’s a clean-burning, high-quality gift that proves even if you don't have feelings, you definitely have great taste.
SCENTS FOR YOUR FAVORITE HUMAN: Whether they love the "Cozy Date Night" vibe of Apples & Bourbon or the "Luxury Spa" notes of Sandalwood & Suede, our premium fragrances are strong enough to melt even the coldest heart.
USA MADE & REUSABLE: Our heavy-duty glass mason jars are built to last. Once the 100-hour burn is over, clean out the jar and reuse it for storage or a cold drink. It’s the high-quality gift your "person" deserves.
Black Raspberry Vanilla (The Sweetest Truth): Our #1 bestseller. A luscious blend of ripe berries and creamy vanilla. It’s the "treat yourself" fragrance that subtly hints that you might actually have a soft side.
Sandalwood & Suede (The Sophisticated Sanctuary): A rich, earthy mix of dark chocolate, cedar, and velvet musk. It’s moody, complex, and high-end—perfect for a quiet night in with the person you almost have feelings for.
Apples & Bourbon (The Cozy Date Night): Warm orchard apples and smooth bourbon. A strong, inviting fragrance that feels like a fall evening spent together on the porch.
Butt Naked (Tropical Vacation Energy): A fun, fruity explosion of melon, pear, and strawberry. Because even if you don't have feelings, you can still have fun!
Fresh Cut Roses (The "Not-So-Secret" Admirer): A true, deep rose fragrance. It’s the classic romantic gesture with a sarcastic twist. 100 hours of roses without the high-maintenance stems.
Sun Washed Citrus (Bright & Refreshing): Zesty lemon and agave create a crisp atmosphere. It’s the perfect "mood-booster" for the person who brightens your day (even if you'd never admit it out loud).
Fresh Linen (The "Clean Slate" Choice): A clean, crisp scent with a powder and musk blend. It smells like fresh sheets and the peaceful realization that you've finally found someone worth keeping around.
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Made in small batches with care, attention, and a commitment to genuine craftsmanship.
Created using responsibly chosen materials that reflect the maker’s dedication to purity and integrity.
Each piece is shaped by independent creators, bringing unique character and authenticity to every item.
Designed to elevate everyday moments with simple, natural, and beautifully crafted essentials.
Crafted with intention
Every piece begins with thoughtful design and careful hands. From natural materials to small‑batch production, each product reflects the maker’s skill, creativity, and dedication to quality. Created to bring simple, meaningful enjoyment to your everyday life.
You're in good hands.
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